"Love is indestructible" but sometimes I wish it wasn't

I'm losing everything and it sucks. My parents are getting a divorce, I hardly ever see my niece Zoey and she just started walking. Honestly, those two things don't hurt so much because I never had them. You can't lose something you never had. My friends are another matter. I actually had them, they were always there for me and now they're leaving me. I knew this was going to happen but I didn't know it would hurt so much to see my bestfriends replace me with new best friends. It probably only hurts so much because I can't do the same. No matter how long we've been apart, everyone else I befriend, they're still my best friends. Stephanie's the last one left and even when we delude ourselves by talking about sharing a house or whatever after college I know it won't happen. It would be great if we could but we're going to go our different ways to become the people we really are.
whatever, I know life sucks right now, it'll get better, it's better not to dwell on the past and things we can't change. blah,blah,blah. I think death of my friendships deserves a bit of a cry though and I'm tired of being sad alone. I'll grow up tomorrow but today I think I'll just be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17.
But what started this? one might wonder. I'm at the bottom of my bestfriend's friend list. That in itself isn't so troubling it's just what it means to me.

"She couldn't fix everything, for the simple reason that the only person she cared about was past fixing." -Specials

Well, I'm rereading the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld. It's really an amazing series and I recommend it to everyone. It makes me sad though because my favorite book crush ever dies. *sigh*
Speaking of playstations (yeah, I know I wasn't talking about playstation. Just go with it), ever since I played Guitar Hero at Batchelor's house I've been plotting to procure a playstation and Guitar Hero. My plans have finally come to fruition. I just won a couple of bids on ebay and I'm going to get a playstation 2 and Guitar Hero 2. Sadly, I've never had a playstation, Nintendo, x-box, whatever. I don't really like video games at all but I loved Guitar Hero. Urgh...my head hurts, I've been relishing the last of my freedom with complete lethargy and now I have a crick in my neck. I think I'll go take some advil.
Anyway I didn't lay around the house the whole vacation. I went out and played soccer with my dad, practiced sword fighting, climbed up the sides of my porch a couple of times (made my bruises even bigger), hung upside down off the monkey bars, and went to the senior night football game. They read off a list of the things you like to do when they call your name for senior night and Andrea couldn't believe I liked ATVs and offroading. It was surprising how little people (that I basically live with all year) know about me, how everyone makes judgements about people based on a startlingly miniscule amount of information. I thought about this a lot and decided a long time ago that everyone has something good to offer; I just have to wait and see if they show me their good side.
well that was ranty.

Heroes

I just finished watching heroes season 2 episode 2 and I think this season could be even better than the first one. After all, Peter is in Ireland, can't go wrong with Ireland. Anyway, if you kids want to watch heroes, all the episodes are on heroesshow.blogspot.com. It took me forever to find a site that had good quality versions of the new episodes that I didn't have to download. So there it is, sharing the knowledge in hopes that you all won't experiencing the mind frying rage of not being able to find a watchable version of heroes. I know Kriegy didn't know what the new season's about so here's a rundown. In the first season a virus is discovered that attacks only those with powers, that virus is spreading and Mohinder Suresh's blood is the only cure so far. Meanwhile, Hiro has traveled back in time and meets his hero Takezo Kensei whose symbol is, in modern times, also the symbol for the mysterious group that Angela Petrelli, Hiro's dad, Lenderman, etc. belong to. Someone is now hunting down the members of that group and notifying them of their impending demise by giving them a picture of themself with the symbol painted over their faces. There are nine members of the group and it is supposedly one of them that is killing off the rest. Claire's dad receives word of Hiro's father's death and pulls out a painting that he obtained from Isaac that portrayed his death and apparently it is just one of a series of eight that Claire's dad has enlisted the help of Mohinder and the Haiitian to find. Speaking of Claire, she's being forced to live as the untalented Claire Butler in the wonderful county of Costa Verde, California where, surprise surprise, she meets another "hero" who discovers her healing abilities despite her unremarkable facade.
Well, that's it kiddies so watch up!

HALLOWEEN IS COMING!!!!!!!!

WHEE!!! I love Halloween. It has got to be the coolest holiday ever. You get to dress up and people give you free candy not to mention it's the Wiccan new year. hmm... i have to find my wheel of the year again. Effie, I don't know what to do, I want to put out the Samhain mat thing your mom made me but it's so awesome I don't want to put it on the ground. I'm thinking about attaching it to the outside of my door somehow. I need a nap. I really miss nap time, I wish we lived in Spain or something where they all have siestas no matter how old they are. BUAHAHA, i made an eight on one of my extended paragraphs and a 6/7 on the other, that was awesome. I had to spend more time than normal on them though and didn't have time to finish the last one. Good news, I've already finished my homework, that's a first.Haha, I'm watching cops get shot in the back with tasers on t.v. in an effort to reduce both taser use and lethal weapons. OMG, the reporter volunteered to get shot with the taser as well. WTF, there's a public school representative for dekalb county schools that's pulling for single gender schools, yeah I'm sure that whole "separate but equal" thing will work out better this time. Ooh, another story. "A chocolate lover's nightmare" a chocolate transport truck overturned and held up traffic for a while. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? That should be every chocolate lover's dream, free chocolate, 40,000 lbs. to be exact. aw darn, no chocolate was spilled, never mind. What ami doing? I'm gonna go watch avatar or heroes or something, no more news. hehe...school fire(just a little one) from fireworks...

I'm sleepy

I just got back from band practice and I'm tired. I probably should have thought through my wardrobe today. Giant baggy jeans and a black tee aren't really the best to go to practice. Luckily i remember (at the last minute) to wear the right shoes though. I use though a lot and such as and after all. Kriegy if you're reading this please completely disregard this in reference to the papers i write for you in the future, cuz I'm probably not gonna stop. *sigh* I have to go write some music and do other stuff for college. I wish there was some sort of insta-composer, squirt some here and win an award tomorrow! I don't even know if i'll be able to do what i want, or even if I'll get into the school I want. Hmmm... Don't you dare tell anyone this but I don't think I like this year's freshmen as well as I did the other years'. They're too bossy and loud and they don't know what they're talking about and I wish I could tell them that but believe it or not I'm a nice person, at least in band (I give them candy, come on, i should win band leader of the year just for not yelling at them like a maniac). On a slightly related note NarutoChic (No names) is freaking me out a bit with her hate of Durbin. I mean she used to basically worship the man and now she doesn't like him because he gave her an eighty or something on a project when she was talking about how they're doing gender roles and she's talking about hermaphrodites. That IS going a bit off topic. I told her, there is a certain amount of conformity that comes with going to school, if only so you don't make other peoples' lives unbearable and chaotic. Like that crazy suicide paper we got for Pathway's DON'T SUBMIT THAT CRAP TO A SCHOOL MAGAZINE!!! That's just begging for someone to haul you away to the funny farm and for what, we can't put that in the magazine even if it was really good (though if effie and i had considered it good we would have snuck it in anyway). And they call us depressing (those with enough opinion to share it with the rest of the world in the newspaper) and aberrant (Norm Cooper), I wonder what they'd say if we let them have the unscreened version. At least we intersperse it with some happy stuff. *sigh* I should start writing for Pathways now but 'on't wannu, 'ON'T WANNU!!! I wonder if I submitted an original piece of music if we'd put it under art or prose, because it's pretty to look at and I had to write it. Ah well, food for thought.